


Can’t seem to find the light alone

by Scottsjackdaniels



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bi!Dean, Bi!sam, Coming Out, Gen, Internalized Biphobia, Internalized Homophobia, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, they’re not straight lets be real
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-21 11:32:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17641985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scottsjackdaniels/pseuds/Scottsjackdaniels
Summary: Sam and Dean aren't straight but after growing up with their dad, it takes a while for both of them to be okay with themselves.





	Can’t seem to find the light alone

**Author's Note:**

> This first chapter is set around season 3/4. Hope you enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean tells Sam that he's bi

“I’m bi,” he admits in a stern voice that does its best to hide the vulnerability he feels. He’s never even said those words out loud before, because he’s never felt safe enough to say it. Honestly, he still doesn’t feel all that comfortable, but it’s been weighing down on his chest for more than a decade now. It was sophomore year when he realized he wasn’t only into girls, but his dad had always made Dean feel like he could never tell anyone that he was bi.

Until now.

He’s holding on by a thread as his fingers clench against the steering wheel. The time that it takes for Sam to respond feels like an hour of prickling pain needling into the back of his neck, but he knows it’s only been a few seconds of silence. Dean’s never been very patient.

“So you like guys?”

Dean takes his eyes away from the road to glance quickly at his brother for any sign of disgust since he couldn’t find any in his voice. He doesn’t see anything though. He only finds curious eyes and a confused look. 

He clears his throat as he looks back to the road. “Yeah.”

There’s an uncomfortable, awkward silence for a moment. At least that’s how Dean feels. It feels like he shouldn’t have said anything, that maybe it would be better if he pretended to not like guys at all and go back to objectifying every woman that he sees. He’ll admit that it was a good coping mechanism for a while, but he doesn’t want to be that person anymore. He hopes Sam doesn’t want him to be that person anymore either.

Instead of talking or waiting for Sam to say anything else Dean turns up the music and he hopes that’s the end of the conversation, but then Sam shuts off the radio a few seconds later. For some reason, Dean’s mind goes to the worst places to maybe lessen the blow of what he thinks Sam’s about to say. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

 _Oh,_ that’s not really what he expected.

“I mean, I get that you didn’t want to tell me before Stanford, but why not the past few years?”

Dean knows exactly why he never told Sam. Sammy has always looked up to him and Dean never wanted that to stop. He wasn’t sure if this would be the deal breaker. 

“You were scared,” Sam answers for him, staring at Dean’s death grip on the wheel.

When they were younger Sam had a knack for reading Dean’s emotions. That talent might have gone away while Sam was at college, but Dean knows that it’s back for sure now.

Dean sighs. What’s he supposed say? He’s been scared all his life but this is something way different. It’s one thing for Dean to die and be without Sam, but his little brother not wanting him anymore if he wasn’t straight is something he could never handle.

“We don’t have to talk about it,” Dean dismisses, avoiding taking the conversation any further.

“Yeah, we do, Dean,” Sam pushes. “I’m not mad or whatever you think I am.”

Dean wants to glance over to see if Sam’s being honest, but he just glues his eyes to the road and stares at the cracks in the pavement instead.

“Listen, Dean. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to but just so you know Dad was a dick. That’s why it took so long to tell me, right?” Sam pauses but doesn’t get an answer, so he continues. “I’m not like Dad, at least not in that sense. There are a lot more accepting people out there than homophobic dads that don’t even know what bisexual means.”

For some reason, Dean lets out a soft chuckle. It’s not a full laugh, because he’s too nervous, but he still manages to see the humor in what they’re talking about.

“Thanks, Sammy.”

“Yeah, Dean. We can talk about things, you know? Just because they might be awkward doesn’t mean I’m not up for talking about them.”

Dean nods, glances at his brother’s smile under the passing streetlights, and his chest suddenly feels so much lighter.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it! Thanks for reading!  
> The next chapter will be Sam coming out to Dean but it will be years later.


End file.
